This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
