I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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