this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
