So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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