I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
and you fell through a lawn chair
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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