So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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