i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
