We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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