Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
