listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
