they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
