my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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