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They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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