he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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