i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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