Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
