Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
