I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just want nice things and good sex
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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