exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
