Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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