Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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