whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
