also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize