did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
