i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
