Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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