Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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