Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
