i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
