Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
