They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
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