She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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