This is not my ceiling
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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