He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Do vagina's smell?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
