Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi