8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?