if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY