Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
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I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
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My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.