My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
