the condom got lost in my hair
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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