Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
