stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
