Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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