i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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