I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize