Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
