dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
