..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
