Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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