So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
