Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
