And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
