Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
In America we eat man semen.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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