You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
