he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
