New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
