i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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