I got her a Nickelback box set.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
