the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
