Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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