hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
