Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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