I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
