I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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