Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
