from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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