At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
