i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
