Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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