I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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