dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
